29 August 2012

listen up

listen. if there is something i beg myself to do is to listen-more. i am too quick to speak. too quick to scold. too quick to correct. too quick to admonish. too quick to blame. too quick to judge. but i wane when it comes to listening. it is a slower process. listening. it requires more. to be present. not just be quiet, but be engaged. hearing what is being said.

i came across this transcript of a conversation with my oldest over lunch. it was dated.



9.25.09


him: there are more emotions besides happy, sad, mad, glad, scared. there are emotions called guilt and pressure.

me: what do you mean by 'pressure'?

him: like stress.

me: what about 'guilt'?

him: there is real guilt, survivor's guilt and potential guilt.

me: hmmmm...

him: yeah. potential guilt is like what george feels when he almost does something wrong.

me: hmmm....

him: survivor's guilt is like what robinson crusoe experienced.


this little lunchtime exchange that was quickly jotted down on a yellow legal pad and then haphazardly filed away to be unearthed 3 years later is physical evidence of my listening. rare.

and here is one more...

yesterday:

me: when was the last time you washed your hands?

him: o, i have washed my hands like...twice today.

{it was late in the day}

me: they smell bad.

him: they smell like angel's poop.

me: and what does that smell like?

him: hershey's kisses.

{this is the same child who when he was 6 said, "it is my instinct to poo in the wild."}

today. more listening. less of everything else. 

xo,
gf


2 comments:

Ariana said...

Angel poop. HaHaHa! Good listening, Mama.

amanda said...

My boys may never say "it is my instinct to poo in the wild", but they think it. I can tell.

more listening. Less of everything else. Got it.

[i adore this space you've created. xo]