29 August 2012

listen up

listen. if there is something i beg myself to do is to listen-more. i am too quick to speak. too quick to scold. too quick to correct. too quick to admonish. too quick to blame. too quick to judge. but i wane when it comes to listening. it is a slower process. listening. it requires more. to be present. not just be quiet, but be engaged. hearing what is being said.

i came across this transcript of a conversation with my oldest over lunch. it was dated.


him: there are more emotions besides happy, sad, mad, glad, scared. there are emotions called guilt and pressure.

me: what do you mean by 'pressure'?

him: like stress.

me: what about 'guilt'?

him: there is real guilt, survivor's guilt and potential guilt.

me: hmmmm...

him: yeah. potential guilt is like what george feels when he almost does something wrong.

me: hmmm....

him: survivor's guilt is like what robinson crusoe experienced.

this little lunchtime exchange that was quickly jotted down on a yellow legal pad and then haphazardly filed away to be unearthed 3 years later is physical evidence of my listening. rare.

and here is one more...


me: when was the last time you washed your hands?

him: o, i have washed my hands like...twice today.

{it was late in the day}

me: they smell bad.

him: they smell like angel's poop.

me: and what does that smell like?

him: hershey's kisses.

{this is the same child who when he was 6 said, "it is my instinct to poo in the wild."}

today. more listening. less of everything else. 



Ariana said...

Angel poop. HaHaHa! Good listening, Mama.

amanda said...

My boys may never say "it is my instinct to poo in the wild", but they think it. I can tell.

more listening. Less of everything else. Got it.

[i adore this space you've created. xo]