04 March 2013

gravity falls

fatigue is a polite word for what i am feeling. haggard, exhausted and overwrought with frustration. if fatigue is the well coiffed p.t.a. mama, how i am feeling is the trailer park version-with the potty mouth to prove it. 

case in point, i fed my children dinner on paper plates after i prayed, "o, god. help us get through this week with minimal emotional and psychological damage." and i must say, i meant every word. i haven't cursed this much since...well, ever.

the Mister left last night. he'll be away for a week. i will be home alone-with 4 boys and a dog. and one of those little bit o'honeys recently procured a new sling shot-you know to go with his rubber band gun. funny how these new adventure tools come right as pops leaves for a business trip. i better think more about that later, when my mind isn't so fuzzy from being stupid tired. homeschooling is tough. homeschooling with no reinforcement in sight is downright torture. i think whoever came up with pear of anguish, must've been a homeschool mom. let me explain.

this morning, i woke as mama{with children in my bed}. at 9:30am i became teacher. one child is memorizing all the prepositions. 3 of my 4 children didn't have their listening ears turned on. i repeated myself all day long. do you have any idea how maddening it is to say everything 3 times? do the math. that's a lot of talking for nothing and if there is something i hate, it's senseless chatter-almost as much as i hate math. a rousing read of Farmer Boy made up for the madness. then there was a quick jaunt outdoors, back inside to build a fire. lunch {gotta love a 6 year old who loves to chop vegetables}. more school{pronouns can be challenging to explain}. then at 3, i changed into p.e. teacher with my trusty sidekick kip, the disobedient pup. we ran around the park for an hour. the littlest fell off his scooter. the others braved the steep hills on their bikes. at 4, i called a time out and went for a walk-alone. at 5, i put on my chef hat. my pandora radio station was up too loud. "we're trying to watch terminator 2 in here. can you turn it down?" when we finally sat down to eat at 7, i had ingested 2, count them 2 cocktails. then it was time to clean the dishes{which took a total of 5 minutes since we used paper ware}. the littles begged for a game of Animal Instincts. the dog joined in. seemed fitting.

our topics of conversation went from what 3 books would we take to a desert island. "i would take a book on planes so that i could fly outta there." to a festive game of "would you rather". the oldest couldn't contain his hysteria as he asked, "would you rather get sucked into a jet engine or run over by a bullet train?" the 11 year old wants to start dyeing his clothes beginning with his shoelaces. i am out of polite ways to say, "for the love of god shut up." as those little darlings drone on and on. how many ways can one feign enthusiasm? 

the third born fell down the stairs, a pipe burst in the basement, the second born left his books at his tutorial{and he has a paper due}, the asthmatic is wheezing, there is a looming snow storm heading our way, and the laundry wasn't going to wash itself{thankfully, that's the 13 year old's job}.

o, brother. this is just day 1. i best scuttle off to bed. the 9 year old just told me i remind him of mabel from gravity falls. i hope that was a compliment. who is mabel? but i do feel like my gravity has fallen-and i may not get up. at least not til 'morrow when we get to do this all over again. wish me luck. 

down for the count,

1 comment:

Ariana said...

Chin up, love. There's always takeout! :) You can do it! (Or declare it Spring Break) Xo