18 July 2014

calm in the storm

i'm slurping my favorite iced coffee bought for me by one of my favorite boys. he took me out on a date. and proceeded to pinch the fire out of me when i told the cashier that we were on our first date. "that is a definite no no on a real date, boy." he winced when i reminded him, "and if you ask a girl out, make sure you have enough cash to cover the bill" (as i pulled out a fiver to cover our tab). 

across town the mister waits as our first born takes(and passes)his driver's permit test. i cheer him on, "mama's little DD!" he rolls his eyes. 

these boys are growing up at such a rapid pace. i have given up trying to keep up. 

3 extra boys find their way into our yard for a rousing game of soccer. as they kick the ball, i scour the news. the news that the mister tries to keep me abreast of over our dinner table. but i can not always hear him above the voices of boys laughing and arguing. i read a plane has fallen out of the sky carrying with it almost 300 souls. i think back to a few weeks ago when four of my favorite souls soared in a plane above their uncle's farm. i cannot imagine losing them. 

a timer on my phone reminds me of my intention to practice fixed hour prayers. i stop to pray for a friend who's in the hospital enjoying her second baby. i am reminded of a conversation i had with my boys as we prayed for her delivery. as we were praying for her, my boys remembered, "didn't she have a miscarriage once or was it twice?" it was so tender of them to know this as we have found ourselves praying for her sweet family in their highs and lows. isn't that the goodness of living life together? knowing one another when we are in our sunday's finest as well as sweat pants and unkempt hair?

i look over and see red lipstick on the littlest's cheek. what a fury our lives feel right now. moving so quickly, but i feel like the calm in the storm. and how is that possible? perhaps because i know the calm to my storm. 

i recently heard myself say to a friend who was bemoaning his singleness, he observed, "i don't know what's wrong. i'm following all the rules." i added, "we follow the Leader, not the rules." and my heart breaks for him. a man in want of a wife. jane austen so eloquently wrote, "it's a truth universally known that a man in pursuit of a great fortune must be in want of a wife." 

i see my blog feed and i realize that reading all of those perfect mommy mormom blogs are just a big fat waste of my time(and not good for my mind, body or spirit)so i make a big girl decision to stop reading them. time better spent doing something to make the real world a better place.

then my mind and thoughts swirl as i think about my father retiring from a company he built over 40 years ago. but as i remind him, "your grandsons see you in their skyline". his company help build the most famous of nashville buildings, the AT&T building aka the batman building. and every sunrise and every sunset, they see him. 

it begins to rain and my house is full of boys(some who are mine some who are not) it swells with sounds and smells that you can only imagine. the dogs are inconsolable. i need a nap. but life keeps happening. and i keep slurping my coffee drink purchased (sort of)by a boy who asked his mom out on a date(sort of).

that's all i know for now. i'll keep you posted on what's next...


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