community does

there it stands. so stately and intimidating. the davidson county courthouse. even as i drove over, i was a little shaky. this is where justice is served and often where {i think of} bad guys are sentenced for their wrong doings. but not today. not in this case.

today friends mandy and eric threw open the doors and allowed all who wished to witness this auspicious moment in their lives, the adoption of their daughter. it was breathtaking. i am forever changed. 

and as i stood around those hallowed halls, laughing with friends, chatting, listening, i began to think. this is what community does. community...

waits in the wings til your name is called.

rocks and entertains chatty and sometimes fussy babies who are missing nap times.

rushes down to feed the meter.

gets shushed over and over again because they are carrying on too loudly for the other court rooms to actually carry on their proceedings.

weeps at the sight of your friends accepting the charge as parents.

and excitedly allows this to interrupt their previously scheduled whatevers.

because, well. it is worth it. showing up. to life and all it's highs and lows. this high will carry all of us for a good, long while.

congratulations, precious ones. and thank you for allowing all of us to see clearly this picture of how we are all lovingly sought after and adopted into God's family. sought and adopted.

see good,

xo gf

day 1:conversing classically about community

last night i dreamt about free hand drawing europe. well, actually that's not true. i dreamt that my son accidentally free hand drew the wrong continent for his final that is today.{i also dreamt that i stole a cocktail for a girl who's boyfriend was cheating on her. somebody please analyze my dreams!}

at the Capitol

have i mentioned we homeschool? that being said, we are part of a ridiculously wonderful community of learners. never in a million years would i have imagined landing in the middle of such an incredible gathering of families who have decided to school their children at home. this first of 12 days of christmas writing posts goes out to my classical conversations sisters who have sat around a lunch table hearing me say things like,"if it weren't for you i would be sitting in my car chain smoking cigarettes". 

at first blush our little homeschool co-op may intimidate. it did me{and still does}. it took me two years of biting my nails til i decided to just jump in. over the course of a year, a child who attends classical conversations learns 450 facts that he is supposed to memorize. i hate memorizing facts. too hard. another reason why i was so reticent to join this homeschool co-op was parents are required to sit in on all the classes with their children attend. my thought was, "if i am paying for them to be here, can't i not be here?" but the founder leigh bortins had another agenda when she wrote within the classical conversations bylaws about parental attendance at co-op class times. she knew that by having parents engage with their children in their c.c. classes, the parents would not only be buying into the classical model of education, but they would be buying into the idea of community. and friends, our community is pretty great.

my boys cannot wait til fridays. not because it's the end of the week, but because it's the day they'll see their friends at c.c. i think the parents feel the same way. the rigors of life and  schooling make it sometimes difficult to drop into one another's lives throughout the week. come friday, we are all ready to dance a jig to see our compadres, catching up on all we've missed since last time. 

annette: smart, sassy and so so fashionable

julie, beth, hannah and debbie

annette is my sister from another mister. we often get shushed by our children for whispering too loudly in class. i love this woman who should be the poster child for homeschooling. she would give all those denim jumper stereotypes a run for their money. and then there's julie. she is my soul sister. we share a mutual love for things-a-bit-sassy, a good cocktail with a "namaste" thrown in for good measure. she's the one who never shies away from my outlandish monologues about the pains and strains of homeschooling whilst maintaining a sense of self. and then there's sweet debbie. o, the one keeps our little ragamuffin mom's klatch in order. she's wiley in her own way, but she is the responsible voice of reason for sure. she's the one you can call in a lurch when the babysitter up and quits and you need someone to watch your kids for the weekend. she's that steadfast and true. my boys would not be the budding writers they are without the unparalleled excellence that is one kathy c. and her magnanimous love for the written word. her colossal endeavors into the journey of writing has changed the lives of her willing and eager students forever and in so doing has changed the lives of those of us who have had the privilege to surf the web on our phones whilst sitting in the back of her class. oooopsie.

acting out vocab in mrs. c's writing class

these women along with so many others like nicole and beth, bunmi our fearless director, dennis and sheryl who have been the most gracious tutors to my boys, have literally saved my sanity. when julie admits, "emma skipped her analytical task sheets this week. it was just too much." i admire her motherly rebellion that is really just great motherly intuition. when jalen stands up to share his passion for science that is a nod to his mother's passion for science, i am inspired.

watching sam shoulder the responsibility of marine biologist by giving every one of his oral reports on something aquatic, i am glad harry has such a like-minded classmate. when madilyn brings her violin to play "happy birthday"{with the accompaniment of her mother who is first chair in the frederick philharmonic symphony}for the entire school i am literally brought to tears. when several families share their stories of coming here from africa, central america, as well as alaska it makes my heart deeply grateful for the diversity that surrounds our tight knit gathering.

this particular homeschool co-op is not the best fit for every kid who schools at home. but community is a best fit for everyone. and i adore our school community. without it, i would be sitting in my car chain smoking cigarrettes. 

xo,

gf

school daze: a four part series

this is not a rebel post...

i am asked a lot{just about everyday}by friends and strangers about my decision to homeschool. it means different things for each of my 4 boys so to answer the question, i will be writing a 4 part series on fridays in this here little blog {honestly, it is a good reminder to myself}.the approach to schooling each boy is different, but the reason is the same. here goes...


then:
i never thought it would come to this. ever. before i had children, i looked at families who homeschool like many look at a cult car accident. with fear, curiosity and a little anxiety. it was not on the tip of my tongue when someone asked me how i saw my future. did i even think of exploring this alternative approach to education as i read about the bradley method of childbirth? i can't recall. what i do recall is when it came time to drop my first born off at kindergarten, the entire ritual felt completely unnatural. i remember asking another mother thinking maybe she would agree. instead she laughed, "are you kidding? it feels glorious!" then i knew it was me. and the me was screaming, "abort mission!". 

first day of kindergarten

a few weeks into kindergarten, i saw a shift in our boy. the once loving child now greeted us in the carpool line with anger and contempt. and that anger was usually directed towards his younger brother. a rift was growing between these two little fellows who had once adored one another. i now know that our home community was being shaken. and if there is something that matters to us, it's community. if our primary community wasn't strong, how could we go about building it elsewhere? for me, the notion of homeschooling meant cultivating community at home. 


the rest is history. our boy came home to school mid kindergarten year with the full support of my Mister whose observations were in line with what i had been seeing for many months prior. we took a leap of faith. we began a long and arduous hike down a path that seemed less traveled, but in reality has been around long before dewey and his philosophy of how to educate the masses. 

now:
that 5 year old is now a boy of 13 years. i wish i could say d.i.y. education has been a jaunty jog down a moss lined path, but it hasn't. with every rotation of the sun, my firstborn has become increasingly more difficult to manage. i realize now that it was more to do with not getting the challenge he needed than from having a sour attitude {which he accomplishes well}.

recently he had a geography quiz on the 50 states for his tutorial. his tutor required him to freehand the u.s., labeling the capitals and peppering in the features and 32 major rivers. in his boyish way he waited til the day BEFORE the quiz to take the task seriously. so last week, as i walked through the dining room {his commandeered work space} i saw him practicing. pencil in hand. papers scattered. he was pouring over an atlas and my laptop and a map. it was a heavy task. but within a few hours {and much to my surprise} he sat with me and went through all the rivers and all the features and all the capitals with excitement. but then again he loves to learn. it is nothing for him to pick up a book on a particular subject and teach himself{a trait he inherited from his father}. his vocabulary on things science or math related prove that as i sit with mouth agape confessing, "i never taught him that." he is self motivated and let's face it, self taught on a lot of his subjects.  

we have stumble-tripped our way into what is now our 9th year of schooling at home, and in some ways it feels like we have only begun. this year our school year began without fanfare. no photographs on the front porch. no special breakfast. we just started. actually we kind of never stopped throughout the summer{damn math!}.we kind of sort of school year round{damn math!!!}.

so finally after finding a tutorial that agrees with him, my oldest is soaring. he found his match with 8th grade. this afternoon as i drove him home from a biology class, he held a petri dish of his mouth sample to observe the bacteria growth over a week*. i gloated, "boy, you are one lucky duck. that science class is amazing. i might not know how to pronounce 'protista', but i know where to find you someone who does." he beamed. "yep. thank you, mom." 

later as we were making dinner and finishing out our day, i nonchalantly asked, "how long do you want to be homeschooled?" he quickly articulated, "until college. i have no desire to go to public school." i offered, "there are other options besides homeschool and public school." he asked, "yeah, like what?" and i told him some other ideas i had percolating in my mind. he shrugged them off, seemingly content with life as he knows it. and i am fine with keeping him at home-i think.

now his younger brother, is a different story. more on him in a later post. speaking of his younger brother, these two continue to mend fences and throw stones, but in the end i know that homeschooling has afforded us what we love-community and freedom to teach, learn and live the way we wish for as long as we can.

whatever we decide for the future, i know that my time with THIS child, my firstborn, has been well spent and the hardest sacrifice i have ever made. there were days when i longed deeply to go to lunch with a friend {and sometimes did-oopsie} or have a career that carried me out of the house. but the lasting thought that stuck with me, that stills sticks with me is: on my death bed i will never wish i had spent less time with my kids. they may wish i had, but i won't and well, that's the best i can do. and hey, i have learned a lot. just ask me about the fertile crescent. seriously, go ahead and ask me...

xo,

gf

*he compared his mouth to that of our dog's. anyone who says a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's has never watched the bacteria grow in a petri dish. no more kisses, Kip. sorry, buddy. 

souls and stuff

Long before boys and a husband and houses of my own, an older mother challenged me to make a decision. Did I wish my future home to be a showplace or workplace-meaning did I wish to have a place that was simply beautiful and perfect albiet cold and lifeless or did I want a place of authenticity and community. The decision was simple, but not easy because order and loveliness don't pair well with boys and real life. In my heart of hearts I want something that looks like it could be found in the pages of a magazine-clean, organized, lovely. I have tried for it. But in the end, I have failed. And in the failing, I remind myself "My boys are eternal. This stuff is not." With every stain, mishap, loss of something pretty, I have had to remind myself {sometimes fighting anger or tears} that souls are more important than stuff. I preach it to my children. I preach it to myself. But still I ask, "Is is wrong for me to desire a place of {organized}beauty that can also be a haven for my household?" Can an orderly house also experience grandiose laughter and folly? Can my idea of beauty {that has changed after having 4 boys and a dog} match my desire to have a home that is welcoming and comfortable to all who walk through our front door?

the kitchen sink: aka my office {at least it has a view}

I call this "The Room Goodwill Built"

I think so.