38

i have 38 drafts in my blog inbox. 38 stories that i started. thirty-eight beginnings that need endings or maybe they have endings but no beginnings or dodgy in betweens i can't remember because there are 38 of them just sitting there waiting to be edited or published or deleted.

but i don't have the energy. it's been raining here today. flash flooding kind of raining. i spent the entire day moving from kid to kid being reminded of my profound weaknesses. as i sat helping one write a research paper, i put my head on the table and begged-literally begged god to help me. i read the few sentences he had written and cringed. the spelling. the run ons. the lack of capitalization{!}. and then i thought of moses, the terrible orator who was called to lead a nation. god calls the weak. and i am weak.

squirrel says, "weird looking bread, but it's still delicious!"

then the boys looked out the window. "mom, that squirrel is eating your bread!" the bread that i baked, but forgot to add the baking soda and baking powder. it was so ugly i threw it to the birds. and from what we observed, they loved it. as did the squirrels. i do love feeding people and animals alike. 

the 9 and 6 year old took off their shirts to wrestle. i made a mental note: "in our next home, add a boxing ring". and "hey, that 6 year old has some serious moxie".

at 4:18 i was finally done with edits for the history paper. the writer and i decided we would look anew at the paper tomorrow. the others begged for an alfred hitchcock movie which i put on, but no one except the 13 year old watched.

and just like that it was time to make dinner. the dog ran around in the mud. i chatted with a few friends who reminded me that my messy life ain't so messy. the Mister took the kids to youth group, my coffee date canceled due to inclement weather, i poured another glass of wine and logged on to the blog with 38 drafts in the inbox-and decided to keep them for another day.

xo,

gf