thoughts on oughts

i sliced a peach for breakfast and thought, "isn't there a school of thought that says a first taste in the morning ought not be a fruit?" 

so many swirling notions of what we ought to eat, do for a living, how we should exercise, so many philosophies on child rearing and education. how we should spend our time, how we should spend our money. i am overwhelmed with so many ought to's.

when we decided to homeschool, i stood before a firing squad of oughts. "you ought to choose this curriculum". "you ought to attend this tutorial". "you ought to visit this convention"."you ought NOT to homeschool". these are just a few.

when we decided to send our boys to ppppuuuuubbbbblllliiiiccc school, someone exclaimed, "that's a terrible idea!"{i appreciate that person's candor because i feel certain many were saying it behind our backs-wink wink}.

i confess that sometimes my decisions may not seem sound to the outside world {anyone who does not live inside my head}.can you imagine how the poor Mister keeps up?

a sweet young mother told me about a book i ought to read on parenting. the gist of the book from what she described is we as parents over congratulate our children hence squelching their work ethic and feeling of accomplishment. as she was telling me about this newly lauded new york times best seller, i thought, "but didn't i just read that we need to pad around our children's burgeoning self esteem?" fortunately for my children i fall into the slacker mom category so by the time a new way of doing things comes along, there's a 50/50 chance i'm already doing it.

i suppose like fashion, philosophical trends come back around every 10th season. food, exercise, parenting and the like. if i wait long enough there will be another book written about how i should coddle my children more and avoid anything but fruit in the morning. i cannot keep up. do i avoid meat and only eat vegetables or run to get a hotdog, but leave off the bun? we can wield scientific theory to back up our arguments most of the time. 

this morning i had the privilege of practicing yoga outdoors from a coffee shop. okay. can you fully grasp how insanely awesome that experience was for me? yoga, outdoors followed by a cappucino. and as i was on my mat, a plane flew across the tip top of the sky, right over the moon. if you don't understand how this was more magical than a unicorn jumping over a blue moon, then you are dead to me-it's like you don't even know me! kidding. but in all seriousness, yoga is my exercise of choice whenever i am not hiking. or swimming. i've been shushing that voice with "i ought to be running." "i ought to be lifting weights." "i ought to try that new trendy exercise gathering". but those are not for me. not.for.ME.

part of the reason i adore the practice of yoga is because it trains you to listen to yourself-to trust your intuition. to hear yourself. and aside from all the physical health benefits, this is the healthiest-yeah mental health. 

anytime i can practice trusting my instincts, hearing myself, learning to enjoy what i find is best for me in the moment, it's a good thing. and savoring a peach for breakfast seems fitting.

here's to hearing yourself first so that you can hear others-second. that's just what you ought to do.

and some mornings, i skip the fruit and head straight for the caffeine. 

xo,

gf

urban babies wear black

when i had my fourth son we were living in a wonderful neighborhood in urban nashville. my darling friend, lauren gave me the book urban babies wear black. have you read it? 

{yoga by candlelight=dark photos}

urban babies not only wear black. they also practice yoga. and my once urban baby loves yoga.

recently he spent some extra time on his mat as we decided to dedicate 21 days to yoga-making it a priority to get on our mats for 21 days in a row. he inspired me. and even though he did not make it all 21 days, he still managed to kick my arse the days he did.

...and a child shall lead them...

xo, 

gf

the apologetics of yoga

sundays are a day of ritual and rest for our family. but on this sunday, i was running. late. downtown parking eluded me. i managed to find a spot. swung my gigantic vehicle into a spot. parallel parking is a feat i perfected after attending a small private college. i often boast to passengers, "my father spent a small fortune for me to learn to parallel park." 

when i arrived at the yoga studio, the classroom door was already closed. the incense spilled through the cracks. a woman was looking at me as i kicked off my shoes. i could feel her gaze. i was annoyed. in a hurry to...to...to... practice yoga! i looked up. she smiled. i smiled back. "hi!" a very familiar tone from her voice. i returned the pleasantry. "how are you?" again she spoke to me like we knew each other. i was distracted. i had one thing on my mind.must.practice.yoga. the stranger paused and sighed. "you don't remember me do you?" my blank stare was a dead giveaway. "i am so sorry," i confessed. she reminded, "i was in a bible study that met at your house when you lived downtown. gosh it's been over a year. how was your move?" shame. this woman remembered my name. she remembered my life. i didn't even remember-her. 

we found a spot next to one another in the crowded class. i whispered, "have you been coming long?" she told me, "i have. yoga literally saved my life." she went on to share, "i went through a period of deep, dark depression. yoga pulled me out of my cloud." i smiled. she continued, "i practiced for a while. some of my friends told me that yoga isn't christian so i stopped for a while. then i prayed about it and really felt like it was okay. you know to do." i sat on my mat and considered. is THE creator of the universe not also glorified in the yoga studio? is He not bigger than the idols that are within my glimpse in this room? when jesus died, the curtain was torn in the temple. we enter into the holy of holies freely, dear ones! and He is not contained in the temples made by men. hallelujah!{read more at: matthew 27:50-51 or mark 15:37-38 or luke 23:45-46}

the class began and our voices were silenced by mantras. our arms raised. we knelt. we bowed. we moved. we looked up with hands raised. 

eric liddell once said he felt god's good pleasure when he ran. i know that feeling. i feel that when i practice yoga. a feeling of preciousness. a feeling of gratitude. a heart overcome with love for my maker. brought to tears. i worship god when i practice yoga. i bow down in adoration to the Creator of my body. i thank him for a body that works and moves beautifully, by His design. never have i been injured from this gentle and exceedingly challenging ancient movement. it has been nothing but faithful to cure all that ills me{and leave me feeling quite amorous}. i adore how it has shaped me physically and spiritually. i cannot say that about many other things in my life.

sacred. the music. the incense. the incredible welcome like coming home. no shame. the feeling of complete acceptance with the reminder to "be who you are". the cooperative voice. the ancient language. so many aspects of yoga remind of my other sunday ritual-church. both places point me to something bigger than myself. both places compel me to worship god. both places leave me feeling glad to know that at the end of my days there will be Somebody waiting. with arms outstretched. welcome.

when i consider my journey to the yoga mat, it runs parallel with my journey to jesus. a few years of shy experimenting. a few years of intentional forgetfulness. and like the prodigal son, a reverent return with much humility and enthusiasm. a reward that is palpable.

solely i belong to the One who made me. and He made yoga. and He created me for yoga. i feel it in my bones. for that reason i can enjoy the creation whilst worshipping the Creator. and in that i feel His good pleasure.

namaste,

gf

a good song to add to your yoga playlist. the words are enough to evoke a heart of love and gratitude. 

coffee confessional

we had a long, luxurious coffee on a bright, brisk saturday. basking in the glow of a yoga practice that was both challenging and deeply satisfying, we sat and talked. she listened as i processed what the Lord had been showing me.

after our coffee date, i texted: "i am going to write a blog post about you titled, 'how my non christian friend taught me about christianity'." and so this is my love note to my friend, amanda.

shortly after we moved to maryland, my new friend evie took me for a walk around my new neighborhood. she took me to meet her favorite coffee shop, her favorite hair stylist and then to a pub where i met her friend, amanda. evie said, "and if you ever need a sitter, amanda is your girl."

thinking nothing of it, we continued on our walk through the cobblestone streets and brownstones that are our sweet downtown. a few weeks later, i had amanda over to assist in the wild ass monkey watching. we have been friends since.

she is much younger than me. she does not enjoy baking. her politics are a bit different than mine. she makes fun of me for homeschooling. she was raised going to church, but no longer believes in a one-way-only theology. those are the biggest differences between us. many would argue, "those are big differences". but therein lies the affection. 

i adore this girl who is the most honest person i have ever met. she challenges me. she makes me a better{and more stylish}person. once when we were shopping, i tried on a pair of jeans. when she told me they looked amazing, i bought those damn 100$ jeans because i know this girl doesn't lie.

so the other day as we sat sipping our coffees, she nodded as i processed a newly gifted sense of insight about myself, the world, my children, my mister. it was all new to me. not to her. even though she is younger, she had come to this particular piece of enlightenment earlier than me. she sat excitedly listening as i pontificated on what it meant to be a created being. humbly she sat. humbly she listened. and when she spoke, she spoke truth. some of it was hard to hear, but i know it was truth spoken from a place of love so i received it-and am still processing it.

the Creator in His graciousness towards me has used this girl who does not even believe in Him to love me and teach me so much about Himself. and here's how...

she lives an honest life. if she is sad, she sits in it. if she is mad, watch out. if she is happy, you will be too. and she speaks her mind. like it or not. o, goodness she speaks her mind.

she lives a beautiful life. she breathes deeply. enjoys a delicious meal. indulges in decadent donuts {every once in a while}. makes time for rest. says, "no". 

she is thoughtful. when i turned 40 some of my church friends had a surprise brunch for me. she came! and she brought me the loveliest bouquets from this darling flower shop. then she and her husband made me a fun NYC scrapbook and cd to guide us as we trekked up to their old stomping grounds, even playing taxi when we left on the amtrak both to and fro-and the train station was an hour away one way.

she means what she says. she will be the first one to tell you that organized religion has no place in her life{yet? wink-wink}. spiritually, she finds her way via yoga and meditation. when i tell her i am praying for her, she laughs, "whatever." but she never makes me feel like i cannot be myself {though she reserves the right to speak her mind be it what i am wearing or what i am baking}. 

her "higher consciousness" is my Creator. her daily devotion is yoga. mine is quiet time spent reading the Bible. her meditation is quiet thought. mine is prayer to God. 

i would be missing out if i had seen these differences as an obstacle to cultivating a friendship with this girl who is a gift. it would have been my loss. it is my belief that the Creator of differences can use those differences to display His splendor. He is greater than our differences.

for amanda, and to Him who brought her into my life, I am thankful.

xo,

gf