i know a guy

i live on such a tight rope of hope. on the one hand i see the amazing hopefulness in overcoming what can seem like impossible odds. and on the other hand i can see the danger when the reality of walking said tight rope is realized. falling, failure, death.

but mostly i just hang out on the hope side. i can't help but. cause you see, i know a guy. 

a guy who was not raised with a mother, but who is a most nurturing and affectionate father. i know a guy who never had the kind of dad who accompanied him to sporting events or even tossed the baseball with him, but who is poised to snap those once in a lifetime shots of his boys doing pretty cool stuff. never with a hint of bitterness. always with a sense of overwhelming humility and gratefulness. as he sees his boys surpass him in most ways. 

this guy chides his boys when they take their mother for granted. he soothes them when they are hurting. he pushes them when they feel like giving up. 

this guy balances perfectly the walk of encourager and enforcer. "you can do it" and "you're strong enough to keep going". "you're better than that" with "you are forgiven". 

i know a guy. who constantly lives a life full to the brim. his every pore exudes servant leader. he is self effacing and the first one to tell you he's pretty great. 

he was raised by hardworking stock. he is indeed that. he was raised to love books and thoughts and dialoguing on deep things into the wee hours of the night. he still does that. he was given a lifetime of solid life experiences with extended family, uncles and aunts and grandparents who were more like parents. he had it good considering.

i see so much of his boys in him. he can too. happy father's day to this guy, my guy, their guy.

xo,

gf

a tale of two fathers

one never graduated from high school. one graduated with a masters from vanderbilt. one grew up extremely poor and set out early to work hard despite all he had working against him. another grew up without a mother and set out early to find family, to make a place to belong. one was blessed with two daughters. another blessed with four sons. 

these two men. the most important in my life, may seem very different at first blush. they have seemed almost like opposites to me for the past 20 years. it's only in the last few years i have been able to understand how very similar they are. 

both love their children dearly.  both have moved heaven and earth to create a beautiful place to call home. both love a good adventure. both would rather be outdoors than anywhere else. both have that entrepreneurial streak in them something strong. 

both have worked fiercely, often to their detriment, so that others could eat, sleep and dream. both are reminders to me that imperfection can be honed and whittled and fashioned in a way that shows the Creator's genius, not ours.

happy father's day to the first man in my life, my father.

and happy father's day to the last man in my life, my Mister.

xo,

gf

a good man is hard to find

Dear Mister,

It took me a while before I understood why providence awarded us four boys to raise. All boys. And then I realized it was because I married a man who was specifically gifted to raise future men who would honor their wives, enjoy their children and serve their community. Our boys have seen this in practice by you, dear husband.

You have heard me say, all of our boys' goodness comes from you {and a few of their idiosyncrasies}. You're the one who has patiently rubbed achy legs until our second born fell asleep. You are the one who can track with the oldest's love for tech and trees.

Never one to shy away from fully letting yourself enjoy who your boys are: good and bad. That must be why they love being with you. 

I know you always wanted a daughter. And you would've been a tender father to a girl. I can see it in the way you enjoy our friends' girls, but you are raising boys who will love girls-and love them well.

Have I told you enough how much I appreciate how you work tirelessly to keep us not just for today, but for tomorrow and the next day? Well, I do. And I tell your boys often how blessed we are to have you steering our ship.

I can see your tenderness in our boys, your kindness and your innate ability to converse happily with a stranger. Their insatiable curiosities and taste of music comes mostly from you as well. Their amazing dance skills, however, are all from me, darling. Sorry.

I knew when we married almost 17 years ago that you would be a good father, but you have surprised me by how great you are at fathering. You were made for it. And I am the lucky one who gets to reap the reward.

Thank you for loving us well and giving us your best! Your boys are fortunate as am I.

Your patience kicks in long after mine is lost. You push the boys to go the distance-figuratively and literally. I tell our boys, "to whom much is given much is expected." And you have given much.

So thanks, sweet man. You are a good man.

We love you lots. Happy Father's Day. I hope you enjoy the flying lessons you picked out for yourself. 

xo

YOUR gf

P.S. A sweet Happy Father's Day to my own Daddy for whom we named our second son. If that isn't the gift that keeps on giving, I don't know what is.